To all of you who read my last post - I'm so very sorry. Did I really go on and on (and on) about scrubbing the kitchen floor? Wow. I'm even more pathetic than I thought.
The truth is that I have been in a funk lately. Mild depression, the blues, whatever you want to call it, I'm struggling with my emotions right now. It's hard to motivate myself to do anything and I feel like I'm stuck in the cycle of going to work, coming home, putting the baby to bed, cleaning a bit and then vegging on the couch. Rinse, repeat. Throw in a weekend of trying to get my house clean and chase after an 8 month old and then the cycle begins again on Monday. Hence my excitement and run on blog post about cleaning the kitchen floor.
I love my son. I love my husband. I would not trade either. But I feel like I'm getting lost in the shuffle - a shuffle that is of my own making. I need to make some time for me. I need to find the balance between being a mom, a wife, an employee and remembering who Christine is.
I'm going to blog more. I have a bit of writer's block, but I'm going to get over it. To that end, I will be stealing an idea from a fellow blogger and I'm instituting "Mushy Monday". I want to write out the story of how Armando and I met. The few months surrounding when we met were life changing for me - not just because I met him, but because I learned so much about myself.
At the time, I wanted to journal, to write down the whirlwind of emotions that I was going through, but the emotions were too raw, and I just couldn't bring myself to write them down. But I owe so much of who I am today to those emotions.
So starting this Monday, I will be sharing that piece of me with you. It won't all be pretty, and to be frank there are portions I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to share with the world. But it is cathartic and I think that by revisiting those emotions it will help me to process what I'm feeling now.
So expect more blog posts! I'll still throw in some Gabe pictures and stories here and there, but for now, my focus won't be on that. Hopefully it will be more interesting than how to scrub a kitchen floor with Oxyclean though.
2 comments:
Christine,
I think this is a stage a lot of new mothers and people in our age group go through. As children things change so quickly around us, we feel like we're always moving on a path to something. Then, as adults that change slows and we end up in a "groove", what we would probably consider a "funk", and are not sure how to deal with it.
So, don't worry about writing about Oxy-clean, I found it interesting (not being a spectacular housekeeper myself). But, I hope you learn to take time for yourself for your own sanity. :-)
I know we haven't seen each other since... well... a very long time ago--1992 was it that your family moved to Texas? But I have to say, I still hold a special place in my heart.
I hope things look up for you. Take care.
Andrea
P.S. - Loved reading your's and Armando's story in the Mushy Monday/Tuesday post.
No one fcking cares about your stupid love-fest. This shit was made for STFU marrieds.
I hate you for fucking being a flamer on BOTB. FUCK YOU. We are watching and we will are putting some curses on you and your womb. Karma is a bitch.
Treat people better online and you won't suffer.
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